Thinking about everything I wish I could go back.. and delete every ex I've had. Despite the many lessons in relationships and love they have taught me, I'd rather learn it with him. I wish I was his first hug, his first kiss, his first time, his first love. I wish I was the first person to call you babe.. baby.. love. I wish I was the first person to have mushy and cheesy talks with. I can't even believe I'm saying this, but I wish I was his first argument, his first fight, and his first break-up. Not a temporary break up, but a break up that'll make us stronger as a couple, because we've experienced how life was without each other - so we'll always hold on so tightly and never let go. I wanted to be your first and last - but I know I'm asking for too much. But if it was ever ever possible to go back and change everything, I just know There are too many things that I wish that I could change in my life, but the harsh reality will always be that it'll never happen. But if ever, there was a miracle and I woke up and my life was the way I wanted it to be ..I know we'd be better, and stronger as a couple. There would be no conflict, less arguments, and no more wasted energy on fighting, feelings of jealousy.. it would just be us - living happily ever after. But because, we don't live in a happily ever after world, I'm stuck here.. still feeling second place. But it's all good, it's something I'm used to. So I'll cope. Don't worry